A feeling is a complicated thing. I’m struggling just to find the feelings to write this. But I’ll get through it and understand it all better.
Processing feelings into words can take time. Getting them out immediately can cause them to come out construed or garbled. If you take time to fully process the feelings into words, you can balance the emotions in those words. Forcing them out in a flurry tends to cause them to focus on a single, powerful emotion. You lose the balance when you are driven by one emotion.
It’s ok to be angry. It’s ok to be sad. It’s not ok to let those emotions drive, but do let them give their input. Drive your communication with the emotions you want to end at. You won’t find joy or happiness if you are guided by hate and anger. You can only find more hate and anger.
You can listen and you can hear. If you want to fully understand somebody’s emotions, you have to hear them, and not just listen. When listening, there is the only the intent to reply, but if you hear somebody, you can fully understand them. Bring in their words and process them as if they were your own.
Count all of the feelings in every statement, they should ALL be there. Every damn time.