I had a big coping day. The boy is out of school for the summer. He used to have a party to celebrate with his friends. Today we are just having 2 friends over to spend the night.
It used to be a party with decorations, games, food, and swimming. Screaming and yelling, running crazy until they were all exhausted.
Today, I am exhausted. The 3 boys are not. There was no swimming, no decorations, and the games are all on the screen. Burgers were cooked and eaten. There is still excitement. But it’s only half of what it used to be.
It’s another step of writing new memories but why do they not feel as good? They get better, or so I hear. And someday I’ll feel that for real.
But today, I just feel as half.